Bathing Suits & Yoga

Today I went bathing suit shopping for our upcoming trip to Mexico.

Did you just cringe?

I did. Again.

I realized as I stood half naked, white, blotchy, cold and no longer in my 30s in the florescent light of the dressing room - that trying on swim suits is a lot like Yoga was in the beginning, and sometimes still is.

When you go shopping for a bathing suit you are vulnerable and exposed.

Your clothes are off. You see parts you don’t often face. You turn this way and that way, trying to look better. You pull, push, tighten, loosen, stretch, shrink, reach, retract, move, be still. . . do all sorts of things with the fabric and with your body, trying to make sense of it all and yet - you almost never (or maybe flat out never) look as good as you hope you will, as you think everyone else does.

Then, to make matters worse, you spend that time faced with a mirror; completely revealed, hoping not to shatter.

It was like this with Yoga at first too. Some days it still is.

Sometimes, when you practice Yoga you are vulnerable and exposed.

Your clothes are off. You see parts you don’t often face. You turn this way and that way, trying to look better. You pull, push, tighten, loosen, stretch, shrink, reach, pull back, move, be still. . . do all sorts of things with the fabric of your body, trying to make sense of it all and yet - you almost never (or maybe flat out never) look as good as you hope you will, as you think everyone else does.

Then, to make matters worse, you spend that time faced with a mirror; completely revealed, hoping not to shatter.

Fortunately, in Yoga, you grow from these uncomfortable moments and because of that you seek the mat often and if you do that enough - one day you may notice that you are able to take that mat into the dressing room when you are trying on bathing suits and it keeps you from shattering.

Armed with your Yoga mat you interrupt yourself when you say how only a twelve year old has boobs this small and instead - find gratitude that you are not likely to ever worry about sagging.

When you say things like: “What is that squishy stuff right there? That was not there the last time I wore a bathing suit.” When you say these things your Yoga mat will tell you to fuck off. Then you can find a spot that is firm and splendid. You can focus on that instead.

When I get to Mexico I’m puttin‘ on these bikinis I bought today and then, right there in the sand by the ocean . . .

I’m rollin’ out my Yoga mat!

Namaste,

Jeannette Maloy

joY Yoga