I just woke up from a three hour coma-like sleep and realized: "Oh my God. I have to post a blog. I haven't missed one day since I started the joY website on January 16."
I really should be sleeping, but again - I'm not listening.
I didn't listen this morning either, when I woke up feeling far worse than I did when I went to bed last night. The sore throat that had been just a small awareness, was pretty raw at 6am. The cough that had been only a tickle the night before, was a full blown chest roar by 6:30 in the morning. The tingles in my skin had turned into what felt like sandpaper rubbing against my nerve endings and the headache that was a dull thud had exploded into a rolling ball in my skull.
My eyes burned. My ear hurt. My neck ached.
So what did I do? I went to work of course. Then after work, I taught my 5:30pm Yoga class at Victor Yoga Studio.
I didn't listen.
I didn't listen over the weekend either. I said yes to two things on Friday night, after a 46 hour work week. I said yes to something Saturday morning and then again Saturday afternoon and one small thing in the early evening. On Sunday, I said yes to something bright and early, then another something mid morning and then one more thing for most of the night.
The weekend before was like that too. I'm pretty sure that two weekends ago was similar. I notice the pattern.
Sometimes you have listen to something that knows better than you. It's your body.
Early in the weekend my body started to whisper. I remember hearing it, but I didn't listen. Had I been a better partner to this vessel, I would have taken out a few things over the last couple of days and perferably over the last month. It's hard though. Every single "something" I've listed here was really important to me and important to the relationships I'm in too. I didn't want to let anyone down and it wasn't just for them. I really wanted to be there.
Oh and there's this: Once I have committed to someone I almost never cancel. I know how badly that feels when it happens to me and I never want to do that to anyone else. Do you ever feel that way? Ya, it's a pretty admirable trait generally, but when it comes to your health, sometimes you have to be willing to say: "Sorry, I made a mistake. I said yes to too much."
Better yet - just pay more attention to what you are saying yes to in the first place. Keep track. Then, when it starts getting to be too much and your eyes burn during the days and you miss meals and get home too late, you'll know it is time to listen while your body is only whispering.
If you don't, it will eventually scream . . . and boy is it loud!