Looking through my journals I found this.....proof that all wounds heal.
Of course, it doesn't end well in this excerpt, but that wasn't the real end. I suppose there is no "real end" for anything right? Everything continues in some way because everything is still a part of you . . . and you continue - just better, more joYful.
Saturday, June 3, 2006
The pain and it’s story are like a bad cut on your foot, one that hasn’t been stitched and hasn’t healed on its own either, but then you started walking again anyway. You started walking again, hoping for the best.
The best didn’t come.
With every step, your sock would rub against it. Your shoe would squeeze it. So, you thought you’d take those things off, walk barefoot. The fresh air would help the healing.
The pain would scream with every step as something brushed against it, got stuck to it, got stuck IN it.
Rather than really treating it though; seeing a doctor, putting your foot up, letting it fully heal - you just kept walking. It hurt like hell, but you kept walking. You simply didn’t know how not to.
At night when you slept you would dream about your foot and sometimes it didn’t even hurt anymore and you were so relieved. Then you would wake up. You would wake up and find the cut still there; stiff and sore, throbbing to the beat of a broken heart.
Finally a time came when you thought maybe you didn’t really feel it. Had you cushioned it, medicated it, favored it enough? Had you just forgotten?
You began to walk with more abandon. You began to walk as though you weren’t hurt.
That would prove to be a mistake.