May You Be Gentle
2018:
Hello?
US:
Oh. Um. Hi there.
2018:
Who is this please?
US:
It’s Us, and we’re so sorry to bother you on your first day. We know you’re busy.
2018:
Well, that’s putting it mildly. I mean I am 365 whole days you know; 12 long months.
US:
Yes, yes, we know. So we’ll make this quick. We promise. We just thought that maybe before you really get started, you might consider . . . (long quiet pause).
2018:
Yes? Consider what?
US:
Well. Do you think you could please, please . . . please can you be gentler?
(quiet)
2018:
Gentler? How do you mean?
US:
We mean we feel like we only survived 2017. We didn’t enjoy it or celebrate it. We just survived it.
2018:
I see.
US:
All year, there has been a tightness in our chests and in our throats. It has been so hard to feel our breath sometimes, harder still to see clearly when our eyes are constantly flooded with tears we won’t let fall. And then other times we do let them fall and every day we get called names for this, for this deep sorrow that makes us less able to think straight anymore. We lose our grasp a lot because everything we ever thought was real is not real.
(long quiet pause)
2018:
(softly) You know that was your first mistake right?
US:
Our first mistake?
2018:
Yes. Believing that anything is real.
(very long quiet pause)
US:
Well, for now, we do. We believe in things being real and we don’t know how much more we can take. I mean, some of us anyway.
2018:
Only some of you? You’re not calling for everyone?
(more long quiet pausing, sorrow)
US:
No. Some are doing fine. This has been everything they wanted.
2018:
Maybe you should call them. Ask how they made it through.
US:
We know how they made it through. We aren’t that.
2018:
I see. So what are you then?
(more long quiet pausing, sorrow, tight chests, closing throats, flooded eyes)
US:
We are hurting.
2018:
I am very sorry to hear this. I do not want you to hurt, but I also know . . . that I cannot take away this hurt. Only you have that power.
US:
But we don’t. We’ve tried. And then every day there is a new suffering, some fresh horror or lie or betrayal and the pain only gets deeper.
2018:
I understand, but you can move in another direction. You can move away from that. You know this.
US:
We know, but it’s not working. The bad is so big. It is just so big, bigger than us.
2018:
Ah, so therein lies your greatest mistake after all.
US:
What? What is our greatest mistake?
2018:
Thinking that anything is bigger than you.
(pausing, thinking, knowing, not knowing, knowing)
US:
We don’t understand.
2018:
But you do. You have just forgotten for a short time. You have let fear and sorrow and disappointment get you all turned around. You have held onto an image that is not there and this attachment is dragging you down into the deepest depths of all.
US:
So what do we do?
2018:
You know what to do.
(longer pause and more quiet)
2018:
Let it go and know this:
There is nothing greater than you and your love. Nothing at all. Even when the bad gets very big, so big that it feels it is all around you, even when it is all around you, even when it is consuming you, still it is not bigger.
(more long pausing and quiet except for tears)
2018:
(a softer voice)
Remember that you vibrate with the energy of all that you are. If you are fear and anger, you vibrate with fear and anger, even if it is understandable, even if it comes from a good place. When you vibrate in this way you can never grasp the love and peace, the compassion and joY that you want for yourself and that you want to give back to the world.
US:
(so softly, barely heard)
We know. It is just so hard.
2018:
Of course it is. You are only human and that makes it very hard and then again you are magnificently human and that makes it so possible. You are the only species on the planet who can do this.
US:
Do what?
2018:
Create everything you want with the power of your thoughts.
US:
Everything? Even when so many other thoughts swirl around and suck ours all up?
2018:
Even then.
(very long quiet pause, the longest and quietest of all, tears coming hard and fast with the suffering caused by holding on……and letting go)
Then finally . . .
US:
Welcome New Year.
May you be full of the best things that have always been and the best things that have never been before.
May you lead with your heart and soul and the power of this amazing planet so that every day we cry tears of awe at how lucky we are to be in this life together and to take care of even the least among us.
May you be humble and proud and warm and soft.
May you be strong and forgiving and generous.
May you be delightful and persistent.
May you be gentle.
